Are Birth Mothers Satisfied with Their Decisions to Place Children for Adoption? Time Will Tell, Study Says

Oct 22, 2018

5 min

Baylor research reveals effects of time, age, education and income on birth mothers’ satisfaction following ‘life-altering’ decision

research findings from Baylor University’s Diana R. Garland School of Social Work could change the adoption landscape for birth mothers struggling with the life-altering decision to place their children.

There is consensus among adoption researchers that for many birth mothers the experience of placing their children for adoption brings feelings of grief, loss, shame, guilt, remorse and isolation. Any level of satisfaction (or lack thereof) in such a decision varies. But how is that level of satisfaction – that feeling that the right decision was made – affected by time?

“Little is known about the interaction of these two variables,” said Elissa Madden, Ph.D., associate professor of social work at Baylor and lead author of the study, "The Relationship Between Time and Birth Mother Satisfaction with Relinquishment." Much of Madden’s research focuses on the birth mother experience in the adoption process – an area, she said, has historically been underrepresented.

“This article seeks to address a clear void in the literature,” she said, “and we hope it has some implications for future practices and adoption policies.”

The research, published in the journal Families in Society, centers on data from an online survey of 223 birth mothers who had relinquished an infant for adoption during the last 25 years. This time period was selected because it reflects an increased acceptance and emphasis on open adoption arrangements between birth and adoptive parents, according to the study.

Of those surveyed, nearly seven out of 10 reported periodic contact with the adopted child; most parents (94 percent) reported only a single child relinquished; a majority (56 percent) parented other children after the relinquishment; and on a scale of 1 to 5, participants reported a mean satisfaction with relinquishment score of 3.11.

Among the study’s findings:

1. Satisfaction is not static.

While many birth mothers reported satisfaction with their decision, the findings show that the more time that has passed since the birth mothers placed their child, the less overall satisfaction some birth mothers felt. Some prior research suggests birth mothers’ grief and adjustment attenuates with the passage of time. However, the researchers note “the findings of this analysis highlight the importance of not confusing birth mother’s satisfaction with her decision and the feelings of loss that she may feel about the placement.”

A birth mother may feel she made the right decision regarding placement and yet still experience ongoing feelings of loss and grief even years later, Madden said.

2. Age had an inverse relationship with satisfaction.

“As with time since the relinquishment, age of the respondents predicted an incremental decrease in satisfaction for every year they have aged,” researchers wrote. “It may be that the distance afforded by time, along with the internal resources and perspective that often comes with age, may have provided an opportunity for birth mothers to look back and reflect on what could have been.”

3. Higher education and higher income led to decreased satisfaction.

“It is possible that birth mothers who have achieved educational and/or financial success may now feel dissatisfaction with their decision to place their child as they now believe, in retrospect, that they would have been able to acquire sufficient resources necessary to successfully parent their child,” researchers wrote.

Additionally, the researchers noted that some birth mothers may feel that educational and financial success may have been achieved “at the expense of their opportunity to parent their child.”

4. Birth mothers who have current contact with their child were more likely to express satisfaction with their decision.

“Prior research suggests that for some birth mothers, having contact with the child helps reduce feelings of anxiety about the child’s life and well-being, worries they may be having about the child feeling abandoned, and/or guilt about their decision,” the researchers wrote.

5. Birth mothers who work full-time were more likely to express increased satisfaction.

“While the rationale for this finding is not immediately clear,” the researchers wrote, “it is possible that birth mothers who are employed full-time have achieved personal fulfillment or otherwise found success through their employment. It is also possible that for some birth mothers, there is recognition that they have less time or perhaps fewer resources for parenting and thus are more satisfied with their decision to place their child.”

What are the implications of this research?

Madden said there are long-term consequences for all members of the adoption triad – birth mothers, those seeking to adopt, and adoptees. She said, specifically, that adoption professionals need to be well-versed in the positive and negative repercussions for birth mothers.

“Adoption professionals must be especially attuned to the needs and concerns of expectant mothers who seek their counsel, as many lack a full understanding of their options,” Madden said, reflecting on her earlier research.

Madden and her fellow researchers believe this study and others like it could lead to changes in the adoption process. They suggest:

Annual “grief and loss” training for adoption professionals
State and federal policies ensuring birth mothers have access to ongoing post-relinquishment support services
Free grief support groups for all birth mothers
Adoption of national standards to ensure that expectant mothers and prospective adoptive parents receive standardized information detailing the benefits of ongoing post-adoption contact
Stipends for expectant mothers to hire independent legal counsel to represent the mothers at the relinquishment and during sensitive discussion regarding post-adoption contact

ABOUT THE STUDY

"The Relationship Between Time and Birth Mother Satisfaction with Relinquishment" is published in the journal Families in Society. Authors are Elissa Madden, Ph.D., associate professor, Diana R. Garland School of Social Work, Baylor University; Scott Ryan, Ph.D., professor and dean, School of Social Work, University of Texas at Arlington; Donna M. Aguiniga, Ph.D., associate professor, School of Social Work, University of Alaska – Anchorage; Michael Killian, Ph.D., assistant professor, School of Social Work, University of Texas at Arlington; and Brenda Romanchik, L.C.S.W., independent practitioner.

ABOUT BAYLOR UNIVERSITY

Baylor University is a private Christian University and a nationally ranked research institution. The University provides a vibrant campus community for more than 17,000 students by blending interdisciplinary research with an international reputation for educational excellence and a faculty commitment to teaching and scholarship. Chartered in 1845 by the Republic of Texas through the efforts of Baptist pioneers, Baylor is the oldest continually operating University in Texas. Located in Waco, Baylor welcomes students from all 50 states and more than 80 countries to study a broad range of degrees among its 12 nationally recognized academic divisions.

ABOUT DIANA R. GARLAND SCHOOL OF SOCIAL WORK

Baylor University’s Diana R. Garland School of Social Work is home to one of the leading graduate social work programs in the nation with a research agenda focused on the integration of faith and practice. Upholding its mission of preparing social workers in a Christian context for worldwide service and leadership, the School offers a baccalaureate degree (B.S.W.), a Master of Social Work (M.S.W.) degree and three joint-degree options, M.S.W./M.B.A., M.S.W./M.Div. and M.S.W./M.T.S., through a partnership with Baylor’s Hankamer School of Business and George W. Truett Theological Seminary, and a Ph.D. program. Visit www.baylor.edu/social_work to learn more.

Connect with:

Elissa Madden

Associate Professor

Research: child welfare, foster care, adoption (public & private), child & family mental health, service learning in social work education

Child and Family ServicesFoster Care and AdoptionsSocial Work Education

Find Experts

Dec 8, 2025

3 min

Stress-Free Holiday Gatherings Made Simple

Holiday gatherings often bring a mix of joy and challenges, especially when navigating complex family dynamics. Anticipating potential hurdles, such as sensitive topics or interpersonal tensions, can help family members approach these events with confidence and clarity. Baylor University communication expert Allison M. Alford, Ph.D., researches adult daughtering, invisible labor and family relationships and emphasizes the importance of preparation to ensure a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for everyone over the holidays. She shares five practical tips to help families navigate the holidays with ease: Dr. Allison Alford’s Five Family Tips for a Stress-free Holiday 1.Work out known hurdles before you arrive to the holiday event. Family dynamics often have predictable friction points – whether it’s a difference in political views, sibling rivalries or unresolved conflicts. Identify these hurdles in advance and decide how to approach them. “For instance, if you anticipate a certain topic will come up, plan a calm response or rehearse setting a boundary,” Alford said. “If you’re traveling with a partner or children, discuss how you’ll handle challenging moments as a team. The goal is to minimize surprises and feel equipped to manage potential stressors.” 2.Come prepared with a list of topics you’re ready and willing to talk about (and off-limits subjects, too!). Having a mental (or physical!) list of neutral or positive conversation topics can keep the mood light and engaging, Alford said. “Think about shared hobbies, family memories or recent accomplishments,” she said. “At the same time, identify subjects that are off-limits for you – like contentious debates or sensitive personal matters – and practice polite ways to redirect or deflect those conversations. For example, you could say, ‘I’d rather not get into that today. Tell me about your new garden!’ Preparation is key to feeling in control of the dialogue.” 3.Set a mantra for your intention. Repeat often. Alford suggests anchoring yourself with a phrase or saying that aligns with your values and goals for the event. For example, “I will stay calm and kind,” or “I am here to connect, not to control.” Repeat this mantra to yourself whenever you feel stress creeping in. “It acts as a mental reset and helps you respond intentionally rather than react impulsively. Over time, this practice can shift your mindset and create a buffer against family tension,” Alford said. View her profile 4.Take breaks when you feel things going off the rails. Recognizing when you’re overwhelmed is a vital skill. If emotions are running high, excuse yourself for a breather. A short walk, stepping outside for fresh air, or even taking an extended “bathroom break” can provide the time you need to decompress and regroup. “Use this break to practice deep breathing, text a supportive friend or simply enjoy a few moments of solitude. Returning with a clearer head can prevent escalation and help you maintain your composure,” Alford said. 5.Stand up for your needs. Don’t abandon yourself! While family gatherings often involve compromise, Alford said it’s important not to sacrifice your emotional well-being. If a situation feels uncomfortable or hurtful, express your needs calmly but firmly, she said. For example, “I feel uncomfortable when this is discussed. Let’s talk about something else.” “Prioritize your mental health and remember that it’s okay to say no, step away or leave early if necessary. Standing up for yourself sends a clear message that your feelings matter and reinforces healthy boundaries,” Alford said. By addressing known hurdles in advance, curating conversation topics, setting personal intentions and taking mindful breaks when needed, Alford said family members can create a buffer against tension and foster meaningful connections. “At the same time, standing up for your needs and setting boundaries helps preserve your emotional well-being,” she said. “With these strategies, you’ll be better equipped to approach holiday events with confidence and calm.”

Dec 11, 2025

3 min

Have Yourself a Sustainable Christmas: Five Tips for a Greener Holiday

As the holiday season approaches, there are multiple ways that individuals and families can employ mindful practices – both meaningful and eco-friendly – that reduce waste and support local communities. From reusable wrappings to sourcing meals locally and composting the leftovers to smarter Christmas tree choices, Baylor University’s Joshua King, Ph.D., professor of English and director of Environmental Humanities minor, and Gary Cocke, senior director of sustainability, offer five tips for embracing sustainability during the holidays to help us reconnect with simpler, more meaningful traditions. Five Tips to Make Your Holidays Meaningful and Eco-friendly 1. Thoughtful gift giving: Choose long-lasting gifts or experiences that recipients will use and appreciate. "Quality over quantity is always a good rule of thumb," Cocke said. “Giving gifts that are useful and durable is best – and if you think of what the recipient would actually be able to use, it is, by its very nature, a more thoughtful gift.” He also encourages exploring and supporting local businesses and the local economy while shopping for unique presents. King added that crafting a creative letter, poem or handmade gift “take us back to the gratitude that should be at the heart of our celebration.” "Experiences can also be wonderful gifts – they often foster lasting memories and meaningful connections," Cocke added. For those looking to give back, donating to a nonprofit organization that resonates with the recipient’s values is a thoughtful gesture. 2. Eco-friendly gift wrapping options An easy way to reduce holiday waste is with intentional gift wrapping. "Choose recyclable paper wrapping over shiny, plastic-laden alternatives and reuse materials when possible," Cocke said. King added that reusable options like fabric and premade bags can be stylish and sustainable. Do-it-yourself wrapping paper can be a fun family activity. “Grab some plain paper and decorate with stamps and markers,” Cocke said. “Grandparents especially love the personal touch of kid-decorated paper." 3. Eat locally and compost Another way to support local businesses is by “sourcing meals locally and making use of leftovers or composting what can’t be eaten,” King said. The Baylor Community Garden offers compost buckets for families to collect their food waste for composting. 4. Greener Christmas tree choices When it comes to Christmas trees, the debate between real versus artificial trees comes down to longevity and disposal. "Artificial trees can be the more sustainable option if used for at least 10 years," Cocke said. "However, real trees are a good choice if properly composted after use." Cocke highlighted the importance of composting and local options for live tree recycling or mulching: 5. A sustainable future “The holidays invite us to practice gratitude and to celebrate relationships we cherish, often by giving gifts, and at Christmas, Christians express gratitude for the ultimate gift: God’s pledge of love to creation through the incarnation, becoming one with us as a fellow creature,” King said. “What better time for practicing a revolution of gratitude through gift-giving and celebrations that are light on the earth and that respect the many relationships by which we live?” Cocke hopes that Baylor’s strategic initiatives and local partnerships will continue to foster sustainable practices, from increasing access to composting to raising awareness about holiday waste reduction. "A little mindfulness can go a long way toward making the holidays more meaningful and sustainable," he said. Looking to know more or arrange an interview? Simply contact: Shelby Cefaratti-Bertin today.

Dec 10, 2025

4 min

Christmas Magic on Screen: A Curated List of Must-Watch Holiday Classics

Christmas movies and TV specials hold a special place in the hearts of many, offering a blend of nostalgia, joy and fun that captures the magic of the holiday season, creating a sense of togetherness, drawing families and friends around the glow of the television. James Kendrick, Ph.D., a film historian and professor of film and digital media at Baylor University, has curated a list of his Top 5 Christmas movies and specials, sharing the history of how they became holiday classics sure to fill you with holiday cheer. View his profile 1. It’s a Wonderful Life Frank Capra’s classic is the perennial Christmas movie, which is only fitting given that it began with writer Philip Van Doren Stern penning a short story called “The Greatest Gift” and printing it on 200 holiday cards that he sent to friends and family. Although initially a box office dud, it later fell into the public domain and was used by PBS stations during the 1970s as December counterprogramming, turning it into the holiday classic it always deserved to be. Along with stockings hung by the fireplace, decorated trees and blinking lights on the house, the viewing of “It’s a Wonderful Life” has become indelibly interwoven into contemporary Christmas tradition. Capra weaves a rich tapestry of American life filling the screen, including memorable details and wonderful performances from James Stewart in his first role after returning from duty in World War II, and Donna Reed, then a largely unknown contract player. It is a truly classic, timeless film, one of the few that quite simply never grows old. 2. Die Hard It is a long-settled matter that Die Hard is not just a Christmas movie, but one of the very best. Christmas movies, after all, know no genre, so there is no reason why a violent action film can’t fit the bill for the holidays. The decision to set John McTiernan’s wry action extravaganza against a Christmas-season backdrop only adds to the film’s myriad pleasures, as it makes Bruce Willis’s one-man mission to eradicate a crack team of terrorist-robbers all the more imperative after they take a Los Angeles high-rise hostage along with a party of business executives that include his estranged wife. “The fact that the soundtrack includes as many jingle bells as gunshots (well, maybe not quite as many, but still more than a few) only adds to the seasonal feels,” Kendrick said. 3. A Christmas Story Somewhere inside we are all young, round-faced Ralphie, pining away for our own “official Red Ryder carbine action, 200-shot Range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.” The film’s stroke of brilliance in how it ladles halcyon American nostalgia – so many images from the film could have been painted by Norman Rockwell – with a biting sense of cold, but often hilarious, reality. Humorist Jean Shepherd, parts of whose 1966 semi-autobiographical short story collection, In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash, provided the film’s source material, narrates the film with a mix of humor and irony, making each scene work as both an evocation of a specific time and place in American history and a blank slate onto which we can project our own Christmas memories and dreams. The fact that the genuine, child wonderment of waking up on Christmas morning co-exists so easily with sneering bullies, creatively cursing fathers, draconian teachers, tongues frozen to light poles, inappropriate major awards and the always braying Bumpass hounds is testament to the film’s breadth and depth. 4. A Charlie Brown Christmas The first and best of the Peanuts TV specials (sorry, Great Pumpkin), A Charlie Brown Christmas premiered in 1965 and has been in our hearts ever since. While technically not a feature film, it captures in its brisk 22 minutes both the truth of the Christmas spirit and the attendant interpersonal difficulties of the holiday season. The fact that it does so with such good humor and poignancy means that no Christmas viewing list is complete without it. Charlie Brown’s oft-frustrated attempts to fit in and find meaning in the season amid all the crass commercialism is one of pop culture’s greatest evocations of existential struggle, but all the low points are balanced perfectly with Linus’s simple, illuminating recitation of the annunciation to the shepherds from the Gospel of Luke, which remains remarkably powerful in its unadorned directness. From the mouth of babes, indeed. 5. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation This is the movie for everyone who has ever tried their absolute hardest to live up to the hype of the Christmas season, only to end in abject failure. Maybe we haven’t all crashed and burned as badly as poor Clark Griswold does here, but we can all relate to how the idea of a “good ol’ fashioned family Christmas” doesn’t always comport with the realities of family, especially when your family includes the inveterate Cousin Eddie, who thinks nothing of emptying his rusting hulk of an RV’s chemical toilet into a storm drain first thing in the morning while wearing a shorty robe and smoking a cigar. John Hughes’s screenplay is a veritable compendium of modern America’s expectations for the season and how they can all go terribly, horribly wrong, which is enough to make anyone feel better about their own Christmas turkey coming out too dry or inability to find which lightbulb is causing the whole strand to go dark.